The Selfless Leader

There’s a reason I’m drawn to dogs. They don’t care if you’re CEO, intern, or mail carrier. They show up, they’re loyal, they serve. You could say they lead with their tails — always wagging, always ready to engage.

Redford, our rescued Golden Retriever, reminded me of that truth every day. When we first brought him home from a puppy mill, he was skittish, unsure, and wary. But over time, as he began to trust us — mostly my wife, let’s be honest — he became a calm, confident presence in our home. Redford didn’t lead with bravado or dominance. He led by showing up consistently, humbly, and selflessly.

And friends, that’s what I believe real leadership looks like.

It’s Not About You

Leadership, at its core, is not about climbing the ladder. It’s not about commanding the room or having the corner office. It’s not even about being the smartest one in the meeting (thankfully for many of us).

It’s about making others better.

Jim Collins, in Good to Great, introduced us to Level 5 leaders — those rare individuals who combine fierce resolve with deep humility. They’re not flashy. They don’t self-promote. But their teams thrive. Their people grow. Their organizations endure.

The world has plenty of celebrities. It needs more servants.

Selfless Leadership Isn’t Soft

Some folks hear “selfless” and think “weak.” But the selfless leader is not a doormat. The selfless leader is courageous enough to say the hard thing when it needs to be said — and loving enough to say it in a way that builds, not breaks.

In our Hard Conversations workshop, one of my favorite guiding principles is this:

“Use your emotions, just don’t let them use you.”

That’s not easy. It takes strength to correct without crushing. To challenge without condescension. To prioritize what’s right over what’s easy.

I’ve had the privilege of coaching leaders across industries and continents, and I can tell you: The ones who leave a legacy are the ones who consistently put others first. Not because it’s trendy — but because it’s true.

Going Last on Purpose

Every Saturday morning, our CrossFit gym hosts a free community workout. It’s packed — sometimes 40 people or more — and usually programmed in pairs. One day, after finishing our workout early, my partner Anthony and I watched as newer folks started putting their equipment away.

“Not yet,” I said. “Nobody puts equipment away until everybody’s done.”

Why? Because leadership means going last. It means cheering others on before claiming your own victory. It means staying on the floor to encourage that last person until they cross the finish line.

This isn’t just a gym thing. It’s a leadership thing.

Simon Sinek calls it “Leaders Eat Last.” The Apostle Paul said it even earlier:

“In humility, value others above yourselves…” (Philippians 2:3)

And in my experience, those who truly go last often lead first.

Character at the Bottom of the Org Chart

When I teach The Four Leadership Necessities, one of the pillars we focus on is Character. We define it this way:

“Effective leaders are at the bottom of the org chart, not the top, selflessly serving the people they lead.”

Character isn’t built in a branding session or a LinkedIn bio. It’s formed in the moments nobody sees — when you let your team take credit, when you hold your tongue in the meeting, when you say, “Tell me more,” instead of jumping in with a fix.

It’s being trustworthy when it’s costly. And humble when it’s tempting not to be.

Why It Matters Now More Than Ever

We’re leading in anxious times. Distraction is high. Trust is low. People aren’t looking for perfect leaders — they’re looking for present ones.

You don’t have to have all the answers. But you do have to show up. Be consistent. Care deeply.

Selfless leadership isn’t a strategy. It’s a calling. And when we respond to that call — whether at work, at home, or in a CrossFit gym — we build the kind of teams and cultures that people want to belong to.

 

Final thought: Redford passed away a while ago. But his tail-wagging leadership lives on — not because he tried to be the leader, but because he simply showed up with presence, patience, and love.

Let’s do the same.

Where in your leadership this week could you choose to go last, so someone else can move forward?